Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
