I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize