so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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