I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
