Where is the hickey?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
