she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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