Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
