talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
