Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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