what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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