I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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