Screwed.edu
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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