No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
