I understand Curling. That high.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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