The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
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I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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