the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
