white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I need a beard to bite.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
