I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
