I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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