why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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