The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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