Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
