she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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