Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
3pm strippers are depressing
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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