he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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