Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
