Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
