i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
