So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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