Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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