He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
