maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
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