Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
