Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
