...so i touched it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
