Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize