I wish my penis had an off switch
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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