it was like eating out sand paper
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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