so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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