Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize