You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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