Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
