Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
