and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
