What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
