no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize