This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
