Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
