she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
