if only i could text you this smell
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize