she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
