yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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