wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
and you said cock pushups were impossible
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
