are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
