You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
