They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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