Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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