I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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