I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
