hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize