i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
